A New Year & a NEW ME!!

 

I know it's been a while since I've posted on my blog.  There is a lot happening in my life right now and for those of you who know me best, you know I am an open book. I tend to have a big mouth without much of a filter (lol) and I generally tell it like it is whether anyone wants to hear it or not.  That's just me : )

I wanted to finally share with you what's been going on and what is about to happen with me. So grab a cup of coffee and sit back if you are interested, this is going to be a long one.

I am going to be 40 this year.  April 10th to be exact.  There.  I said it. I am going to be 40...yikes.

I had planned on taking my family on one of those once in a lifetime kind of fabulous trips for my birthday.  One that I wasn't teaching or by myself on a long road trip. I was thinking a Mediteranean Cruise...Italy, greece or maybe the Caribbean. I don't know, but something great.  I've since decided to put that off for a while for a better decision....

I am going to give myself a totally new, healthy ME for my birthday and focus on my own transformation.

Step one - I have quit smoking!  OK, it's still very new and a daily struggle (with an occasional relapse) but I am doing it. It's a work in process and a daily choice for the greater good but it is time.

Step two - I am having surgery.  Gastric Sleeve Surgery to be exact. This is a decision I have struggled with for years now. I had been thinking about Lapband for a long time.  I know so many people who have had such great success with it, but the last time I seriously discussed it with a doctor, the problem was that I am fat but technically "healthy" according to the provious insurance rules.  I had no co-morbitities such as high blood pressure, diabetes, etc to qualify for the insurance coverage.  So I stopped thinking about it for a while.  For those of you who have been with me over the past year, you know my back is a mess.  I have 2 herniated discs that have been getting worse and making my life a living hell...especially this past fall because I had such an insane travel schedule.  The kicker for me was being at Oktoberfest in Munich last year. This has been on my bucket list of things I have always wanted to do. I was so excited to go and experience all of it.  I saved my back as much as I could, but the walking I made myself do just killed me and I was sobbing by the end of the night because I was in so much pain.  There was no way in hell I was going to miss that experience and I was thrilled to be there, but I realized during that trip that my back and aches and pains in my legs, knees, etc from gimping around have completely taken over my life.  Seriously, EVERY single thing in my life revolves around my back and thoughts about how my back will hold up. It has become and ugly cycle now.  My weight makes my back issues worse to the point that I am not moving.  I've been told by doctors that if I am not careful the herniations will burst. So I don't move around as much and my weight gets worse, which in turn makes my back worse. Frankly, I'm sick of it and taking my life back. The only thing that is going to help my back is losing weight.  A LOT of weight.  Believe me, I have been chubby my entire life...and tried just about every diet out there. I think 40 years is long enough to say I gave it a good go and I've decided that surgery is the best option for me at this point.

It's funny how things happen, I started the holiday season not even thinking about surgery yet, but just that I was going to take those 2 months (dec-jan when I am always off) to take care of myself for a change and just start with a physical and appointments I never have time to schedule. i went for an eye exam to get new glasses and an updated prescription. While my eyes were dialated they discovered I had had a small retnal bleed.  Nothing dangerous but she urged me to go back to my doctor to investiate because these things are almost always a sign of bigger things such as high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. 

So I went back to my doctor.  Sure enough, the news of my eye had freaked me out enough that I had high blood pressure (which is weird for me because it's ALWAYS very low) I explained that I was only freaking out.  I used to have bad panic attacks in my 20s after my dad passed away.  Mostly medical things...every headache was a brain tumor and every other ache was a heart attack or stroke, lol.  it's been a while but I think the eye thing stirred it up a little.  Dr  G. wasnt buying it and said something that made a lot of sense...if this is what my blood pressure does when I'm just a little freaked out or nervous what happens when I get REALLY mad or upset (actually he added, ''I know you have 2 little kids so you can't tell me you don't get really pissed sometimes!' LOL) He ordered a pile of more tests. Glucose was a little high and I have sleep apnea.  So he talked to me about surgery again because now i am a definite candidate for approval with all of these new discoveries.

So fast forward through a lot more appointments, seminars, hours on the phone with the insurance company I have a surgery date of march 12th.  It's less than a month away now and I am excited and scared to death all at the same time.  This is going to be a HUGE life change for me but i am more than ready to finally be healthy and most importantly out of pain so I can enjoy my life.

I decided on the newer gastric sleeve surgery after a lot of research, seminars, talks with my surgeon and family and I think this is the best option for me. I knew I didnt want gastric bypass because I knew too many people who had horror stories of the side effects.  I like the idea of the Lapband and love the feedback I'd gotten from everyone I've come across that have had it.  My mind was set on it actually until my surgeon recommended the sleeve as the latest and better option for me...particularly with my travel schedule.  The lapband requires a lot of maintenance and follow up and because it's basically a piece of hardware in my body, of course there could be malfunctions (although rare). Where in the world would I possibly be when and if it slipped or needed to be filled or adjusted?  That was definitely a concern.  The Sleeve has basically no follow up aside from making sure my vitamin levels are good and normal surgery follow ups and it's permenant. 

SO...here I go!!  I have put on my big girl panties and made the decision that I am not going to feel better until I focus on doing something about it.  March 12th is the big day, a few days in Hackensack Medical center and then I have 6-8 weeks recovery time where I will not be able to travel really...on the 9th-10th week I will be on a plane to teach in England!!  (more to come on that soon)

I have been getting a lot of e-mails and questions about booking classes and people wondering why my 2012 schedule is not updated yet...this is why.  I am taking 6 months off to take care of me. I have a big list of stores waiting for class dates and I will start scheduling Summer and Fall classes shortly.  In the meantime, I am just about to launch some on-line classes (so I can pay for all of these co-pays, LOL!).  I'm totally revamping my blog/website.  You can now also get here by typing in www.jenstarrstudio.com as well as the previous typepad address.  Even more exciting things happening in regards to teaching...I got to design 12 glimmer mist colors for tattered Angels and I will also be adding several more companies that I work with! 

My life is crazy right now but all good things are happening!!!  I'll be keeping you updated along the way.

jen

 

 

 

Comments

[megan darrow]

I'm excited for you! keep us posted on everything!

[Yasmin]

Oh my gosh Jen! :) I'm so happy for you. I'm so glad you've stopped smoking! I'm so excited that you've made this decision. I know a lot about the things you talk about and I think is great that you've taken controll over it! :) I hope to hear more from you soon!

Big hugs

[Jody Seastrand Sullivan]

Good for you!!! I had a bypass 4/2/07 and (knock on wood) it had been a great sucess, I went from 247 to 135 Lbs. It was a hugh commitment but well worth it. Best of luck, you will be in my thoughts and prayers that day (the day ironically after I turn 40)

Lots of love

[Martha Richardson]

You go girl...this is such a big step but such a GOOD one!!! I will be rooting for you ;)

[Mary Beth Kitchen]

This is wonderful. Take care of yourself. I will be waiting for the online classes and I will be praying for you...
Big Hugs from WV....

[CherB]

You know we'll be thinking of you. I applaud you for sharing this and now we are going to continue to lift you up. I'm so proud of you about the smoking too! Luv ya.

[Coleen]

I am SO excited for you! I to know how crazy life can be managing jobs, kids,life on the road, and all the household duties! Life tends to get busy, and we let ourselves slip! I am there with ya! I will be praying for you, and hoping your outcome will be just what you have planned! Love ya TONS girl! xoxox

[Kathy A.]

Jen, I am so excited for you. The choice to improve you is the best choice for you and your family! Just think how much more fun you will all have when you finally do get to take that great family trip. I will keep you in my prayers for a speedy recovery and a successful new you. Can't wait 'til we see the new you in TEXAS!

[Linda]

Good for you Jen! We are important and need to learn to put ourselves first so we're there for the loved ones in our lives. Take care and good luck! Looking forward to seeing you in a class sometime this year!

[Em]

Hi Jen. I am so happy for you (regarding the smoking). I am two years now since I stopped. I guess there will be no more cigs on Heidi's balcony together!! Ha!
I wish you well for your successful surgery and a speedy recovery. It is my birthday that day so I will remember to be thinking of you! xoxo

[Maria Moore]

Jen, I am so excited for you! You are such a wonderful person, I am glad you are doing this for you.

[Cindy Resendez]

Jen, Making that decision takes a lot of courage and I congratulate you for putting on your big girl panties and stepping up! The results will make you giddy when your "big girl" panties fall off as they will end up being too big. I had gastric bypass and lost 160 lbs, it is one of the BEST decisions I made to take care of me. My kids and husband are so happy for the changes and I, for once, am happy to be in my own skin. Kudos to you! Good luck! Cindy

[Jennifer Maier]

Jen, so excited and a little bit jealous!!! So glad you are taking care of YOU!!!

[Cindy]

This is great Jen! Awesome! Good luck on this next journey!

[edie]

Congrats Jenn, my prayers will be with you. You are already half way there..making the decision is 50% of the work. Keep us updated on your progress, please. I know many many women who will be anxious to hear about your successes (myself included!).
Smiles,
Edie

[Jonetta]

Good for you Jenn, very proud of your decision. Can't wait to follow along with your trnaformation. Keep us all posted!

[Debra McGinnis]

Jenn your are make a wise decision about going ahead with the surgery. My 40's were great and my 50's have been amazing. You have so much to look forward to and having good health will make all that more wonderful. Good luck with the surgery and take all the time you need to recover. Best of Luck! Debbie

[Jamie]

Well it goes without saying how proud I am that you quit smoking and that you have decided to focus on YOU! You deserve to take some time for you. Make sure you update all of us with your progress! I will be happy to come "play" with you during your revocery! lol.

[fairyrocks]

Take care of you. I have a close girlfriend who did this surgery. She say's she has never been sorry she did it. And XXXing the smoking too WOW you are really going after this. Take care of you !!. You are a Brave Girl !!I will be thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery time.
Keep smiling and creating I am looking forward to seeing the new you and everything you do. Keep a Journal, Write the Book Jenn!!

[Pamela Palmer]

I am so happy for you. I wish you all the best. I hope to some day be able to take a class from you. I wish you the best.

[Linda Robison]

Good Luck Jen MY BEST ADVICE - have someone take a photo of you every week, same day of the week, same spot. When done you will have a flip mini book and as you flip you get smaller and smaller. A friend did this - it was so cool.

[Tracy Anderson]

I am elated for you... as a fellow "big girl" I applaud your courage... maybe you can share some of it with me. I can't tell you how much I relate to what you said about your back pain literally ruling your life. That is where I'm at... I know I need to do something, but I've been resisting it, for some stupid reason. I need to find the courage to make a permanent change and take my life back, too.

Love you, girl... I'll be praying for you.

[Marjie Kemper]

Best of luck! What a huge life change. You can DO it!

[Donna Salazar]

Congrats sweetness! Sounds like this is gonna be your year in a whole lot of ways!!!

[Birgit Kunte]

I'm really happy for you, great decision. And keep on - not smoking :-) Good luck, i will follow your blog to be updated, hugs Birgit (Munich)

[Vicki Thomas]

As a former smoker, APPLAUD APPLAUD, APPLAUD for making the decision for a healthier life to quit. I know it is a "one day at a time" right now, but it will get easier.
Way to go girl! Your decision for weight loss is a fantastic follow up! We will be thinking of you during your journey, and please continue updating us on your success!

[Nancy Lorenz]

Jen, I am so excited for you and your new you. You know I had. Gastric bypass 7 years ago and it was one of te best things I have done for myself. I made it a lifestyle change and one that will follow e through till the day I go to heaven. I ost 160 lbs and have kept it off. Yes, I have up sand downs and it is not easy, but I am so thankful for this change in my life. Saying that, I know you can do this! I will keep you lifted up and if you ever need encouragement I will be by your side. . .let me know if there is anyway I can help you or if you needs word or two or three, I will be there. May you be encouraged and know you have a friend. Nancy

[Petra Idzinga]

Hi Jen,

remember me Petra from the shop ScrapArt in the Netherlands [ with my brother Henk ]?
I wish you all the best with the surgery and I think you've made a really good decision!!! I've had a gastric bypass 4 years ago and lost 50 kilogram with it!!! But then there wasn't the possibility of the sleeve surgery!1 This is even a better one, so I'm sure this will work allright for you. BUT i think you maybe need more recovery time!!!
Take care!! Love
Petra

[deneen]

CONGRATS!!! a good friend of mine had the Gastric bypass about 2 yrs ago - she is a single parent and in order to qualify needed a "partner" to go thru the lifestyle counselling, pre-op, op, post-op ... i wanted her to get her life back as much as she did so i volunteered. i was amazed at all the info and support she rec'd (she had the surgery near Detroit). honestly, i think if i hadnt gone thru the whole process with her i might not be so supportive of her decision but now i would reccommend any of the 3 procedures if thats what some-one decided they needed. its a life changing decision for sure. you are going to be so sucessful i just KNOW it! good luck! xoxoxoxoxoxod

[Tamera]

Good for you! As a PACU(recovery room) nurse, I think you made a wise choice! You will do great! I wish you the best! Hope to see you back in Memphis in the future!

[Kim Boken]

Congratulations for making you a priority! I turned 40 at the end of last year and like you, have discovered I need to take better care of myself!
I wish you all the best !

[Naomi A. of CO]

good luck to you. I happend to have found your blog by accident and know it was meant to be. I am scheduled to start the process later this month and hopefully will be approved to have the same procedure. I as well am overweight but healthy as they claim but shall see!

I would love to be mentored by you and learn from you...how can we arrange this? Seriously! I would love to be your sidekick until I can go on my own...contact me when you can and we can speak further!

luna10575 at msn dot com

http://snipitytweetwhispers.blogspot.com

[A Creative Journey (Melissa Langford Mueller)]

Oh my dear gorgeous brave friend! I am soooo proud of you! What a huge and wonderful decision you have made. I can't wait to see what the journey has in store for you... You are amazing and hopefully with this surgery you will start to believe it :) I can't wait to see what creative amazement is in store for you as well! I hope you plan on visiting my way! Best wishes tomorrow :) xoxoxox